~*~Living For the Last Time~*~
The Russian poet Anna Akhmatova declared to fate that......"I warn you, I am living for the last time." How does that sound to you? Can you stand up right now and say to yourself that this is your one and only life and that by all means necessary you are going to enjoy it?
I don't know if you believe in past lives, that we are destined to continue to live the same mistakes, the same regrets, over and over again until we get it right. I don't even know if you need a speech like this. But, I know I do. I am at a point in my life where the road forks and I'm standing in the middle, looking from left to right, wondering which way will lead me to my authentic self.
If I've learned anything from my mistakes, from my regrets, it's to be happy. To "seize the day" with everything I have and not let one second go by without acknowledging that it very well could be my last. Do I adhere to this as often as I should? Probably not. Do I have moments where I just feel like quitting and giving into my doubts and fears? Certainly. But to know these things, these miniscule delays in my journey to happiness, makes me even stronger. Helps me carry on, helps me to pick up the pieces and put them back together.
It also helps me to know when those pieces need to stay apart. When some things just can't and don't need to be mended. Because, let's face it, sometimes destiny gets in the way of our plans. Much like the old saying....."God laughs at your plans." When something does fall apart, I've learned that sometimes it's the universe's way of forcing you to come into the light. You go kicking and screaming every inch of the way, but when you finally get there you understand why you're there instead of where you "planned" to be. And as much as I'd like to say that I'm a planner, I am not. Although a year ago I had a very different picture in my head of where I would be right now.
But, guess what.....I understand why I'm here instead of where I thought I would be and I'm happy. Life can throw you lemons but you don't always have to make lemonade. Sometimes it's more fun to throw them away.
"The past is not only that which happened but also that which could have happened but did not." ~Tess Gallagher~
*written by Missy Sue of Whisper Moon